My Testimony

My Testimony

At the age of 10 I was in a church service led by Brother Don Mitchell, the pastor at that time of Northside Baptist Church. I'm pretty sure I don't know what passage of scripture his sermon dealt with that day, but I do remember the general area of the church where I sat. I also remember the invitation at the end of the service, and how my heart was broken, and how I wept and trembled, and the fear that had my knuckles white as I sang the invitation hymn and gripped the pew in front of me. I remember the intense supernatural "pull" on my hands and feet to release my grip and walk forward to Brother Don, and I remember the surreal 10 second trip as I released my grip and allowed my feet to do what was unstoppable. When I made it to the front of the church Brother Don loved me through a prayer that asked Jesus to be my savior. I vividly remember the emotional wash over my whole body as we said "amen", and the amazing feelings of joy and peace. I "know" I was saved that day.

'The Rest of My Story"

I attended Church and  Sunday School at Northside sporadically through my High School years, but I was pretty much "superman", and the center of my own life for the next 25 years or so, and never found much room for the things of GOD. Oh, there were a few events like the birth of my children when I felt GOD's presence, and I guess I acknowledged it for what it truly was, but the only life changes for me were in the opposite direction. By the age of 36 I was ready to all but deny even the very existence of GOD.

I don't want to bore you with a lot of worthless details, so let's suffice with this. After a conglomeration of some 25 years of totally selfish and ungodly choices in every aspect of my life, I found myself at a dark lonely crossroads. At about 2am, as my wife and two sons slept, I was alone in our family room feeling totally hopeless and helpless. It had been another long day filled with pain and depression. The acute ordeal, which had begun with a medical condition involving a pinched nerve in my neck, had been going for over 6 months. During most of this period I couldn't sleep, I couldn't work, bills were piling up, my mother was suffering from heart disease, and everything I had based my superman ego on had crumbled before my eyes. I was at rock bottom physically and emotionally, and just could not take it anymore, and this had to end one way or another. In a sudden desperate cry I asked  GOD to end this horrible chapter of my life either by fixing me or ending my life. As I recall, at the point of emotional and physical collapse, it went something like " God I give up! Fix me or take me home!"

In that very instant I suddenly had a new perspective. It was like a light coming on and for the first time in months I had a moment of clarity. My wife Jo, who had apparently been awakened, came up the hall to check on me. She knew something was different and asked what it was. I told her that though I had not ever considered it an option, I now knew how some people could decide to take there own life, and at that point I called out to GOD and I had felt the Holy Spirit. She said she didn't understand. I said "you know, John 3:16." She said she had no idea what I was talking about. It took a little while to find my Bible as it had been pushed away for years and I couldn't recall where it was. Once I had it I turned to the passage and began reading. It was the first time Jo had ever heard it. I continued to read to her for the next couple of hours and the Truth of GOD seemed to jump from the pages.

When we finished our reading of the Bible that morning Jo asked what was next. I said I wasn't sure but church seemed like a logical thing, and if they hadn't destroyed the records I was still a member at Northside Baptist. I then proceeded to lie down with a peaceful heart and sleep soundly for the first time in months.

I call the experience I just shared with you my "Spiritual Reawakening". I don't know if that is a sound theological name for my experience, but it's the truth of my life. Maybe it was a first real awakening to the plan that GOD has for my life. Anyway, the important thing is that GOD had a place ready for us. In short order GOD called my wife and boys to salvation and we have been experiencing the abundant life Jesus promised in and through the believers at Northside Baptist Church since that day. I know we are still not the people GOD called us to be, and won't be this of heaven, but we grow closer day by day, and are not and never will be the people we once were. Changed forever-Jay